Marketing Nous

B2B Sales Training & Performance Improvement

Sales Training Brisbane Sydney Melbourne
  • Home
  • About
    • Testimonials
    • Clients
    • Outsourced Sales Management
  • Training
    • Sales Training
      • Sales Coaching
    • Presentation Skills Training
      • Presentation Skills Coaching
    • Management Training
    • Time Management Training
  • Speaker
  • Sales Resources
    • Guides and ebooks
      • The Assassin Analogy
        • The Assassin Analogy for Technical Staff
        • The Assassin Analogy for Professionals
      • The Sales Training Illusion
      • Sales Performance Improvement Framework
      • Being a Great Sales Coach
      • The Persuasion Principle
      • The Triple C Strategy
    • Sales Articles
  • Sales Blog
  • Contact

The Fine Art of Small Talk

fine-art-small-talk-coverBook review by Stuart Ayling

Title: The Fine Art of Small Talk
Author: Debra Fine
Published: 2005 (reprint 2014), 224 pages

What is it about?

“If your conversations evaporate almost as soon as they’ve begun, or if you’re a reluctant participant at social and business get-togethers, you’ve come to the right place. This book will help you acquire the conversation skills you need to feel confident and poised in any situation.”

So starts this easy-to-read book on questioning and listening skills.

The book’s subtitle is ‘How to start a conversation in any situation’ and throughout the book there are numerous examples of how to start, manage, and close conversations in business and social settings.

The author is an engineer by profession, now turned author and speaker. She readily explains how she was not a sociable child and subsequently chose engineering as a career because it did not have a high demand for conversation. However after experiencing mid-life challenges including having children and a divorce she decided she wanted to be happier and must improve her communication skills – including the ability to create conversations with others.

Clearly the book is written for those who are intimidated by the thought of meeting new people and striking up conversations. The structure of the book takes you step by step through the process, preparation and techniques required to have ‘casual’ conversations.

There are 16 chapters, with the last three chapters focusing on more on situations relating to dating (i.e. being single).

Chapters include:

Chapter 2: Get over your mum’s good intentions

  • The first step in becoming a great conversationalist is becoming invested in the conversation and actively working to help the other person feel more comfortable.
  • Includes a list of 20 business-related ice breakers, and 30 social-related ice breakers, such as:
    – What got you started in this industry/area of practice?
    – What advice would you give someone first starting out in your industry?
    – Tell me about the best holiday you’ve ever taken?

Chapter 3: Take the plunge: start a conversation

  • Don’t wait for others to ask, be the first to start a conversation.
  • Be the first to smile and greet another person.
  • Use peoples names, and avoid nicknames or assuming what they prefer to be called.

Chapter 6: Hearing aids and listening devices

  • Listening is more than just hearing. It’s a level of involvement that goes beyond reciting the contents of the conversation.
  • Includes a list of positive and also off-putting gestures (body language).
  • Techniques to verbalise your listening such as “Tell me more. What was that like for you?”

Chapter 7: Prevent pregnant pauses with preparation

  • Prepare for a conversation like you would prepare for an interview – both as the interviewer and the interviewee.
  • Contains 30 questions that could be asked to prevent uncomfortable pauses, under headings such as: Jump Starters; History Lessons; Interview Questions.

Chapter 10: The graceful exit

  • If you are at a party or an industry meeting and your goal is to meet people, you must find the courage to leave the conversation to meet your goals.
  • Tips on exit lines (what to say), how to make referrals, how to introduce people, how to show appreciation e.g. “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you about your new business”.

Chapter 12: Make the most of networking events

  • The ability to talk easily is a learned skill, not a personality trait.
  • 20 tips on what to do to put yourself and others at ease (these pointers sum up advice from the rest of the book)

What I liked:

The book is really easy to read and includes many specific tips of exactly what to ‘say’ (verbally) and what to ‘do’ (physically). I think readers who are timid in social settings will benefit from this practical “how to” advice.

It is also written in a sensible sequence that builds on each section.

What I didn’t like:

Nothing. The book does what it says it will.

Would I recommend it?

Yes definitely. I reviewed this book because I thought it could be helpful for the professional and technically-oriented people I often work with during training sessions. I have seen first-hand their reluctance to engage in conversation with clients and others they don’t know (usually from a lack of experience and training in these skills). This book is a great primer to help anyone become more comfortable having conversations.

Return to Book Reviews.

 

 

Subscribe to the blog for the latest resources, and get a copy of ‘7 Steps to Create a High Performance Sales Team’

Recommended for Sales Leaders

Watch the presentation full size and download the key point worksheet

Recently on the blog

  • How to say ‘No’ to clients and still have them buy

    How to say ‘No’ to clients and still have them buy

    May 18, 2020
  • Recruiting a sales person? Stop, until you have done these three things

    Recruiting a sales person? Stop, until you have done these three things

    Nov 28, 2019
  • Understanding the emotional experience of clients

    Understanding the emotional experience of clients

    Aug 1, 2019
  • What does your sales team really need to learn?

    What does your sales team really need to learn?

    Apr 29, 2019
  • Resilience for sales people: How to help your sales team be more resilient

    Resilience for sales people: How to help your sales team be more resilient

    Nov 21, 2018

As featured in Sales & Marketing Management magazine cover story

download sales training guide

Overview of client feedback

Sales figures have increased by 20% on last year to date!! The team also continue to pick up new customers.
Sharyn Moran, General Manager

Our sales results have increased since incorporating Stuart’s sessions into our sales conference and this has been during a downturn in the market.
Justin Zakaras, National Sales and Marketing Manager

The content of the sessions was customised to suit our customer interactions, with a lot of preparation on the part of Stuart.
Dr. Sunil Kadri, Head of Sales and Business Development


Read complete testimonials ...

Thank you so much for a brilliant session on Thursday. I think the format and content was ideal.
Rennie Colston, Sales Director

We had a very positive result from involving Stuart in our Managers Conference last year.
Russell Varley, Human Resources

The training got us thinking more strategically about how the business is structured. It has really built our capabilities as a management team.
Mia Graham, General Manager


Read complete testimonials ...

Stuart was patient, flexible and knowledgeable. He took the time to truly understand our business.
Helen Zwicker, Executive Officer

The best thing is that I now have a road map of specific marketing activities that can be implemented with confidence.
Donna Cazzolato, General Manager Sales and Marketing

The participants immediately felt engaged as Stuart demonstrated his understanding of our needs and challenges.
Frederic Vanhove, Principal Engineer, Pacific Delivery


Read complete testimonials ...

With only one day we had a lot of material to cover and Stuart created a positive learning environment for all involved.
Kylie Kinsella, Sales Manager Australia & NZ

Bad ideas are expensive in business however with Stuart Ayling, it was money very well spent.
John B. Lonergan, Sales Manager


Read complete testimonials ...

By the next week, sales of this product had doubled from 10% of all new sales to 20%. The extremely cost effective session with Stuart paid for itself within the first week.
Maria Triggs, General Manager

We have already seen a new client on board as a result of the two-day workshop.
Mark Mahoney, Managing Director


Read complete testimonials ...

Stuart put the sales training across in a way they could accept as a part of our service offering with out them feeling like “salesmen”.
Gary McDonald, Managing Director

We were impressed by the approach of Stuart and the simplicity of the program without the hype generally associated with these courses.
Dirk Kuiper, General Manager


Read complete testimonials ...

Verified by Sucuri as a safe site

Read the latest on the blog

  • How to say ‘No’ to clients and still have them buy May 18, 2020
  • Recruiting a sales person? Stop, until you have done these three things Nov 28, 2019
  • Understanding the emotional experience of clients Aug 1, 2019
  • What does your sales team really need to learn? Apr 29, 2019
  • Resilience for sales people: How to help your sales team be more resilient Nov 21, 2018

About Marketing Nous

Marketing Nous was established in 2000 by Stuart Ayling, Director and Chief Sales Strategist. Stuart works  with expertise-based businesses to develop customised sales training and … Read More >>

Looking for something else?

Stay in touch!

Marketing Nous Pty Ltd
PO Box 5320
Daisy Hill QLD 4127 Australia

Tel: 0407 588 468

Email: info [at] marketingnous.com.au
or request further information

Connect with Stuart Ayling on these social media channels …

Copyright © 2021 · Marketing Nous Pty Ltd · All rights reserved · Tel: +61 407 588 468